So, Final Fantasy 8 is better than 13. There, I said it.

That's this post in a nutshell, since I started my re-play of FF8 just to compare the two while they were fresh in my mind.

Anyways, I will sum up disc 3 and 4 in one post since not much happens in the last disc other than utter insanity and ridiculousness.

We start disc 3 with yet another Laguna flashback, nothing of interest happens in it besides a few lame attempts at comedy. We cut to Squall who suddenly realizes he cares for Rinoa. yes, after being annoyed by this bitch he realizes he cares for her. This scene is done so badly, the way Squall's personality just flips the switch from asshole to caring carebear, you will have a hard time not laughing your ass off. Anyways we're supposed to look for Ellone now. A lot of stuff happens before you can find her, most of it random and uninteresting. Then you find out that Laguna is the leader of the most advanced civilization on this world. Yes, this poor man's Forrest Gump is the leader of guys that have a huge space station and technology beyond belief.

So after all that nonsense sinks in you are tasked to getting Rinoa to the space station. then the monolith from 2001: a space odyssey attacks everyone for some reason. Then Rinoa wakes up from the coma and she's now possessed by an evil sorceress FROM THE FUTURE!. Then you find out the moon is the home of like a billion monsters and then these monsters cramp up in a spot in the moon and attack the earth through space then you find a dead evil sorceress from the past that is being kept in the station and the evil sorceress from the future who also possessed the sorceress from the present wants to possess her now and then the space station gets attacked and then BANG BOOM KABLOOIE everything goes to shit and then squall and rinoa are left drifting away in outer space!

Did you get all that? and that's only part of the nonsense, stupidity and incredibly rushed and poorly thought-out events that happen from now on. You might be asking how can they top this? well you can bet your ass they can top it just keep on reading.

So now Rinoa and Squall, drifting in outer space, with a limited supply of oxygen. They are about to die, and you sit there, wishing the oxygen runs out and they die a painful slow death. But we're out of luck since what follows is about AN HOUR of Rinoa and squall moving at the speed of half a pixel per minute across the screen in the empty space. Now seriously I know it doesn't lasts and hour, BUT IT SURE AS HELL FEELS LIKE IT. It probably lasts around 10 minutes which is ridiculous for a scene where basically nothing happens. This scene is beyond ridiculous.

Now to my not-so surprise, people who like this game actually think this scene has some deep significance about the relationship between Rinoa and Squall. And well all I have to say to those people is that you should go watch movies with ACTUAL stories about relationships to find out how a real relationship between two people work, so you won't get all teary-eyed about this shitty and utterly ridiculous scene. And no, watching Twilight doesn't count.

Anyways there's a ship conveniently drifting nearby (I don't really think I need to point out how absurdly convenient this is, since everything that happens from now on is beyond common sense) so our "heroes" are safe for now. While in the ship Rinoa and Squall get it on and stuff. Squall sure changed his mind didn't he? he's now all mushy mushy and in love with this whore. Well that doesn't last for long because when they land on earth some guards take her away because they fear the sorceress from the future might possess her again. So much for Squall showing he cares uh.

So speaking about the sorceress from the future, I think it's about time to point out what's going on about these sorceress. See, Sorceress Edea wasn't really bad at all. She was possessed by a sorceress from the future named Ultimecia. why did she do that? well apparently she's slowly creeping her way back through time using the sorceress as hosts till she can get to Sorceress Adel, from the past, which was in suspended animation in space.

All of that sounds really interesting at first, until you realize what Ultimecia's plan actually is. Ultimecia lives in a world far in the future where apparently there's not much left because she rules all. But she isn't happy with that, oh no. See, what this idiot really wants is to trigger "time compression" She compresses time and the universe goes to shit so our heroes and everyone else dies. But here's the thing, in the future, which is Ultimecia's present, everyone is ALREADY DEAD. So what she is doing is a convoluted plan to kill the people that are already dead for her, so she can become the only living being left or some retarded shit. I mean, really?

In her time, there's not much left so she can just use this awesome power she has to obliterate what's left and be the last living being and stuff. Even then, WHY WOULD YOU FUCKING DO THAT? I mean, Kefka wanted to destroy everything, but Kefka was obviously coocoo for cocoa puffs. kefka was completely insane due to the magitek that completely messed up his mind and made him into a nihilistic maniac. That I can understand. But what are the motivations for Ultimecia for doing what she's doing? and again, WHY KILL PEOPLE THAT ARE ALREADY DEAD? She's not insane shes just "evil", so... why?. WHY? It Boggles the mind. I could go on ranting on this for hours on end. The levels of stupidity in this plot just bring my piss to a boil and I think I've nerd raged enough so I'll just say this:

Stupidest villian plot ever.

ANYWAYS, back to our "plot" Squall, in another show of bipolar disorder realizes he loves Rinoa again and goes out to free her. Now our heroes go to see Laguna to make a plan on how to take on Ultimecia. Laguna proposes that we let her compress time and destroy the universe, and if you were expecting a genious, well thought out plan from this guy then you haven't being paying attention.

For the final nail in the coffin of this game's story, we get to hear Laguna's reason for wanting to let Ultimecia fuck everything up. Since they can't travel to the future, the only way to beat her is to let her compress time so they can be in the same timeline. But how are they going to survive time compression if that's exactly why Ultimecia wants to do it, to destroy them?

Well, they will be able to survive it WITH THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP.

And I mean literally.

No, really, literally. I'm not kidding or interpreting some metaphoric idea, no. Laguna states that the power of friendship will make them survive a catastrophic event that will destroy all time, physics, the universe as we know it. Literally, the power of friendship. All they have to do is think about each other and how much they care about their friendship. And so they do.

And if you're wondering, yes, the power of friendship worked.

I guess My Little Pony had it right, Friendship is Magic.

So that wraps up this mess. Ultimecia is defeated by LITERALLY the power of friendship and all is well in the world.

Final Thoughts

When you think about the reasons Square did the changes they did for FF8, it's obvious they were appealing to a more mature audience, with the realistic graphics instead of the cute models, and with a clear emphasis on a love relationship between the heroes. With that said, it's amazing how they botched this one up and failed so miserably in producing a good story, and it's also unbelievable how childish it turned out to be. The power of friendship saved the universe, literally. And i can't stress that enough because I just can't wrap my head around it.

In Final Fantasy 6 for the final battle with Kefka, our heroes realize that what brought them so far was that they stuck together and cared for each other and that friendship inspired them and gave them strength to fight. That sounds familiar to what we have here, but in this case, their friendship just INSPIRES them, it's not a literal power they can use against Kefka, that would be absurd. It's just some extra motivation. Also, the friendship that develops between the main cast is pretty strong and believable unlike in this game. I could go on comparing this to better RPGs, but I think my point is clear enough.

Back to my first statement, FF8 while still a pretty bad RPG, is still leagues ahead of FF13. I've actually come to appreciate FF8 more now, and while I still hate the most stupid aspects of it, i now appreciate that it still had some good thing going for it, things that we come to expect in a Final Fantasy game. bad game, but good music, good graphics for the time, and a system that while still the most exploitable system I've seen in any RPG, still lets you take choices and offers you options. And I'm talking about junction, not the drawing system, which is still completely fucking retarded.

All in all, I wish Square would go back to this style of games instead of insisting on MORE final fantasy 13. One can only dream...