No, I'm not done with this one yet. You see, I am still coping with the fact that this movie was so unbelievably craptastic that I've been thinking of ways to make this movie enjoyable for my friends who haven't seen it yet, or if I ever become utterly insane and watch it again.
So I've devised The Last Airbender Drinking Game!. This game has two goals:
1-Get you completely smashed
2-See if at last one can get some entertainment out of this movie
I would say this game is better played with no mixed drinks, you can pick any raw drink you like. Rum, Whisky, vodka, anything is fair game. Why no mixed drinks? SO YOU CAN FEEL THE PAIN AND DESPERATION OF THOSE WHO WATCHED THIS MOVIE!
You can pussy out of it and get some OJ in your drink or whatever, I'm willing to bet you'll get drunk anyways.
General Rules:
Take a hit when:
-Something that should be shown is instead narrated, or Shyamalan forgets that 90% of the time it's better to Show, Don't tell.
-The plot is exposed so glaringly and so close to your face you feel threatened by it.
-The CGI is so terrible you wonder if they were using the same computers used for the original Tron.
-Slo-mo kicks in
-something that isn't meant to be hilarious, is.
-Something that is meant to be hilarious, is not.
-Someone yells 'NOOOOOOO!!!"
-The editing team fails to do its job.
-Something happens without any explanation prior, i.e.: Zuko appears fine and dandy after the ship he was in was blown. In the same vein, take one hit when...
-Something doesn't makes sense
Finish your drink when:
-Deus Ex Machina kicks in
Although that should be enough for any adult man/woman to get themselves drunk, I want to add some LAST AIRBENDER special rules, as those I've mentioned before could apply to any other bad movie as well.
So, Last Airbender Special Rules:
Take a hit when:
-The name of any of the original characters is mispronounced
-Someone does an unnecesary dance to bend an element.
-The dragon from dragonball appears, instead of avatar Roku.
-Firelord Ozai appears in the scene, completely uncovered.
-You realize someone is acting as the complete opposite of their original counterparts.
Finish your drink when:
-You facepalm, you sigh, you say "Oh my god", "What the fuck" or any combination of those.
I am going to try this next weekend!. I think I'll need at least a couple of bottles of whatever I'm going to drink.
0 comments:
Post a Comment