Badass.

So you might be wondering, is this guy as badass as he looks? well yes, yes he is. He is as badass as you think, and a little more. He's also a huge asshole.

But you might also be wondering, who the hell is this guy? in which game did he appear? and those are fair questions since his original in-game counterpart looked nothing like him. If you played final fantasy 1, you might remember this little red guy . He was the fighter character in the original Final Fantasy, and he's supposedly that awesome looking warrior up there. Why do they look totally different, even in the colors used for the armor and hair? well the "Warrior of Light" that we get in dissidia is based on Yoshitaka Amano's original concept art for the fighter. Amano's art is awesome so although I liked the old look I'm ok with them using Amano's vision instead.

The Warrior of Light (WoL from now on) is the leader of the group of heroes in the game, which frankly surprised me since I was expecting they would use some of the lame but popular FF characters like Cloud or Squall. He surely looks heroic enough to be a leader, and acts all rigid and focused on the final goal as well. He also enjoys being an asshole at every chance he can get. He's got a "cut to the point" attitude, and seems to think that anything can be resolved by slashing someone's guts with that fancy sword of his.

In the story mode he is after his crystal, like all the other characters. First thing he does, he goes against Garland which is the main antagonist in his original game and in this story (which is something that applies to all the other characters) and kicks his ass. That's fair, since garland just asked for it. He then encounters Sephirot and quickly orders Firion to get the fuck out and leave the fighting to him.

Sephirot: Hey sup. So you know that fighting me is pointless because you won't get your crystal, remember I'm from FF7 lulz?
WoL: OMFG i dun care I just want to kick your ass.
*Sephirot gets his ass kicked*
WoL: K thnx bai.

Since this was the first time I watched the WoL acting like this I just shrugged it off, but then he encounters Ultimecia:

WoL: lulz I can see you there.
Ultimecia: o hai hey I'm just gonna spend 3 to 5 minutes blabbing about stuff the player won't understand and taunting you k?
WoL: OMG STFU let's fight.
*Ultimecia gets her ass kicked*
Ultimecia: lol you can't kill me I appeared in another game.
WoL: kk lets have more pointless taunting then.

You might think I'm exaggerating, but he actually ask her if she's finished talking, a literal STFU. That part was kinda funny tho. Next is an encounter with Cosmos, the goddess of light and the guide of the good guys in the game.

Cosmos: Be careful, lots of crazy bosses ahead
WoL: It's better if they are all in one place (so he can kill them all more quickly, I guessed)
Cosmos: Dude, chill, you're being WAY too jumpy with that sword.
WoL: blah blah blah, Ok now GTFO of my way i have more fighting to do.
Cosmos: ...

Believe it or not I hardly changed the original words there. After some more fighting he finds The Emperor

The Emperor: Hey man, let's just take it easy, you know? Fighting accomplishes nothing, you know that don't you
WoL: well, I have noticed, yeah.
The Emperor: So what do you say if we just chill and hang out?
WoL: lol hell no, let's fight instead.
The Emperor: dude you're so annoying...
*The Emperor gets his ass kicked*
The Emperor: kk you won, now I'm gonna go back there and respawn, asshole.
*Garland appears*
WoL: OMFG WTF? didn't I kill you? are you a zombie?
Garland: lol u noob. I told you we keep respawning, now get this through your head: IT'S POINTLESS TO FIGHT!, now I gtg bye. *disappears*
WoL: WAIT!!! let's fight!!!

So after beating almost every boss in the game his thirst for blood is not yet quenched, and somehow manages to find Garland again:

Garland: for christ's sake, not you again... what do you want now?
WoL: well, take a guess.
Garland: Ok let me explain it to you: YOU CAN'T KILL US! we just keep respawning in this world, even if you looted the crystal from me I'll just respawn again and we'll keep battling forever.
WoL:... oh sorry, you were saying something? I was busy thinking how I'm gonna kick your ass this time.
Garland: oh geez...
*Garland explains some more*
WoL: So let me get this straight, even if I beat you, we'll keep a cycle of infinite battles, forever?
Garland: Exactly!
WoL: k... OH I have an idea, to end this cycle of fighting all we have to do is FIGHT! get ready here I come!
Garland: *facepalm*
*Garland gets his ass kicked... again*
Garland: ouch, that hurts...
WoL: lol pwnt.
*Crystal appears*
WoL: ooo shiny!
Garland: I might look like I'm disintegrating but I'll brb later.

And so it ends. I don't know about you, but for me a hero is not someone who follows a "see bad guy, beat up bad guy. No questions asked" pattern. That's something The Punisher would do. Not to mention that some of these fights he could just have walked away and go on with his quest to find his crystal. Playing as him felt like driving a steamroller.

All in all, his story wasn't as enjoyable as some of the others. As I said in the first article, this game's story isn't very good, but some of the characters and villains shine from time to time, the WoL didn't shine because he was a good, real, believable character, but because he looks, acts and plays like a badass. I like playin as the WoL, but he has a big attitude and personality problem.

If you want another (more serious) take on the Warrior of Light, check out this post at the gaming vault.


Stick around for the next post about the second story which I'm gonna call Firion: Never get between a man and his roses.

Badass x1000



Apr 26, 2010

Final Fantasy Dissidia

So I've been playing final fantasy dissidia lately, I was never interested on psp games but after seeing my brother play for a while (and my internet being down at the moment) I decided to give it a try, and I must say I'm pretty much blown away. This is the definition fanservice. It reminds me of castlevania judgement for wii, it's a mediocre game but omfg it oozes fanservice. But comparing dissidia to cv judgement is a disservice because this game just plain rocks. It's fun, it has a crapload of replay value, its easy to play but deep at the same time, and again, it just gives FF fans wet dreams.

Of course, the game isn't perfect. Well, it kinda is. As far as the gameplay, it's really addictive, it just works, and it's fun, so the game is perfect in that department as far as I'm concerned, but the story and particularly, the characterization of well-known FF heroes (and sometimes the villains) leaves a bad aftertaste. Sometimes a really, really bad one.

So stick around while I dissect each chapter as I play them. The game has 10 basic chapters for each final fantasy, and in each one you play as the protagonist of that game (in some cases... well that isn't very clear. I'm looking at you, Firion!). Of course I'm not doing this in a single post, so for now, I'll leave you with the 8-bit perfection that is the black mage sprite:
If you look closely you can see a tear coming out of his eye. He's gazing out into the distance, disappointed, and sad. He's a sad black mage because he's not in this game.

Next up: "The asshole of light"